Race Report: Huffmaster Hopper - 2023 Grasshopper Pro Women
Race: 2023 Huffmaster Hopper, Pro Women
Date: February 25, 2023
AVRT racers: Kelly Brennan (for Stanford), Niky Taylor
Result: Niky 5th, Kelly 6th
Course: Lol. What to say. This race is 89 miles, I’ll call it 25% cyclocross and 75% terribly flat. The first 30 miles or so is farmland, some gravel but most paved. Then at mile 40 it climbs into the hills. It’s back down to flat around mile 53 with a bit of rolling, then at 67 there’s a climb and the main descent. Then you’re back on flat for 15ish miles to the finish. Apparently in normal conditions it’s basically a road race when the dirt is dry and hard packed. This year was not like that.
This race was a challenge before it even started. I swapped my tires from my normal 44mm WTB Raddlers to some 3rd hand 32mm Pathfinders a friend gave me. I also put on a larger chainring. I figured my new roadie gravel bike setup was basically invincible. So I tested it out the day before the race and slid out and crashed on a road corner. I was mostly fine, but it wasn’t exactly the pre-race prep I was going for.
Day of the race I was feeling a bit off. But it was fun to see people. Having learned the night before about the conditions, a lot of us were laughing and lamenting our narrow and slick tire choices. I was curious and more than a bit apprehensive about the experience I was about to have.
Kelly and I lined up and she pointed out the people to watch for. Then we were off along with the pro men. That was cool. People did some fake attacking but the pace was chill. Our friend Skyler (who got 5th in pro men!) did a casual attack and I followed for fun. Then he did another attack which I didn’t follow, but turns out that was a real one that maybe I should have gone with because then we hit the first gravel section and everything blew up.
The dirt was terrible. The mud was sticky and it was five times harder to pedal and stay upright. The group shattered. Most of the women fell back except Maude who pushed ahead to stay with a front group. I found myself next to Leslie, and I locked onto her wheel and line knowing how solid a bike handler she is.
When the gravel section ended, I found myself in a group of three with Leslie and Riley. We started working, by which I mean Riley would pull for a while and then Leslie and I would each do our best and then Riley would pull some more. We absorbed another guy into our group and then got caught by a larger group that included a bunch of women, including Katarina (the eventual winner) and Sarah (eventual 3rd).
This group stuck together until the climb. Riley was crazy strong and did so much work on the front. It felt like every time I got to the front I would just immediately get wrecked by wind, and within a few seconds Riley would calmly take over for me. I was so impressed and grateful because I wasn’t feeling great. The flats were boring and the group was antsy and my right leg was aching from my crash and I couldn’t turn my neck very well.
We got to the climb and almost immediately there was snow. I set the pace up, keeping it a bit fast but nothing unsustainable. I felt my body lighten up, happy to be on something other than a flat road. Another woman attacked past me and Katarina followed. I didn’t chase—it was getting sloppier and I didn’t want to risk blowing up. But they stayed within reach. The gap shrank and I felt confident I’d catch them. And then I tried to shift down a gear, heard a painful crunch, and my bike stopped working.
The one and only time in this race where I felt sort of in my element lol. That lasted about 2 minutes.
I nearly crashed but managed to hop off. My chain had gotten sucked, jammed between the cassette and spokes. I tugged at it but couldn’t get it out. Riley rolled up and stopped to try and get it unstuck for me which was so nice of him. I told him to go. Everyone in our group passed me and was gone.
The last time I got a chain stuck like this was on my way to my thesis defense, which arguably was a higher-stakes scenario. Thinking of that reminded me that this is bike racing and it’s for fun, even if it’s rough sometimes. I used a tire lever to gently push the spokes away from the cassette and pulled the chain out. I got back on and continued up.
Honestly I’m pretty glad I got that mechanical. I was so in my head about racing and attacking that I’d forgotten to be present with myself and the ride. So I looked around and realized I was biking in a snowy winter wonderland, and it was wild. My bike was sliding everywhere and it was hilarious. For the moment, I was happy to be riding alone in a beautiful place. I pedaled through the sloppy mud and rolling hills for a while, alone with my thoughts. It was nice. But I also realized how long and slow the rest of the day was going to be alone.
At mile 55 the course turned back to road. I heard someone shouting my name and looked back to see Kelly! She caught me not long after. I was stoked to see her and it was perfect timing because the course was flat again. We started working together to get through it. I tried to do more pulling on the road where my tires were well suited, and then followed her more on dirt stretches.
Around mile 65 my chain was terribly dry and pedaling got even harder. I started to feel so frustrated with my bike, my chain, the narrow tires that didn’t handle the way I’m used to. I tried to keep smiling with Kelly, and I was grateful she was there. Mile 70 was the second feed zone. I stopped and got my chain lubed, filled a bottle, and grabbed some snacks. Then I looked at what was next and laughed and said out loud “wait what really?” Some guy said “yeah it’s peanut butter mud” and in my head I thought “I am allergic to peanut butter.”
Kelly and I started hiking up the climb and it was just ridiculous. It was basically 6 inch deep sloppy mud the consistency of peanut butter. It was hard but at least it wasn’t a flat road, and I was again struck by how hilariously insane it is that I have the privilege to choose anything I want to do in life and this is the hobby I’ve picked. My bike gained five pounds from mud sticking to everything. I had plenty of clearance with my narrow tires, but Kelly and others had issues with mud clogging the bike entirely. It was stupid and ridiculous and hilarious and very difficult. When we got to the top, Kelly and I were able to get back on and ride down for the most part. I felt pretty accomplished doing that. We also had a good time laughing and whooping and screaming as we made our way down, and got many laughs and whoops in return. To my surprise we passed a lot of the pro women.
We exited the crazy muddy section and got back onto some relatively smooth dirt. Kelly was pretty far in front of me having used her better technical handling to descend the mud faster, and it took me a few minutes to catch up to her. Then we got back into our time trialing groove. Quick shoutout to the guys who gave us bacon quesadilla hand-ups. Best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life.
We knew going into this race that the last 10-15 miles were going to be brutal, but that didn’t make it any less so. It was flat, and there was a killer headwind. The terrain alternated between patches of sticky mud sections, washboard, and pavement. I don’t know what I would have done without Kelly. Probably would have cried. It was horrendous but Kelly and I crushed it.
About 2 miles from the end I hit the darkest place I think I’ve ever been on a bike. I didn’t even have the strength to speak and tell Kelly, I just fell off her wheel. A guy drafting us saw me struggling and said something along the lines of “hey, we’re almost there, you’re strong, you got this.” That was nice and gave me the boost I needed for the final push. At the last turn Kelly told me to send it. I rode the longest 200m of my life and finished at exactly the 6 hr mark.
Kelly, somehow still smiling. Me, completely dying. Also Kelly where are your gloves??
This race was brutal. While the mud and snow were tough, it was at least interesting and unique to ride (and walk) bikes in those conditions. But flat roads and headwinds should go die in a hole. I hated this course but I’m grateful for the mental and physical toughness I gained from it and the lessons I learned. And I’m proud of myself for doing a race that I knew wasn’t going to play to my strengths, even when I wasn’t at 100% going into it. It was awesome to hear about other people’s experiences on the course and talk with the other women after the race. I’m also really proud of myself and Kelly for supporting each other and being incredibly strong. Turns out we got 5th and 6th which I’m pretty damn proud of.
Hopefully this report wasn’t too negative. I still like bikes. I’m still going to ride and race hard stuff. Overall I’m glad I did this but frankly I’m sick of rain and snow and I can’t wait to ride in dry conditions again.
Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/8623092432
Nutrition: Feed zones at miles 45 and 67. Both had scratch and snacks. At the start line I had a syrup. During the race I ate: 1.5 sleeves of clif bloks, 2 waffles, a kates bar, a fig newton bar from feed zone 2. I drank 2 large bottles of skratch.